Should'a swiped left. Wow. You look so much like a picture of someone else. What year was that one taken anyway? This year? But this year, in like, a parallel universe where you don't spend your days chugging 2-liters of Mountain Dew and pulling your own hair out? Good look, by the way. The gravity-defying hairdo diverts attention from your lazy eye.
Run-down movie theater (buttered popcorn scent).
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.